


Second Day of Christmas

by alley_oops, HeadmasterFelix



Series: Aidan Turner and Jamie Campbell Bower: Citadel [6]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, British Singers RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Mortal Instruments (Movies) RPF
Genre: Dancing, Falling In Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexuality Bending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 13:27:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alley_oops/pseuds/alley_oops, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadmasterFelix/pseuds/HeadmasterFelix
Summary: Aidan comes home after filming and the boys spend the evening together, dancing, talking, starting to fall in love, and finally the big question. And who would Jamie be if that wasn't the perfect occasion for a blowjob?





	Second Day of Christmas

Jamie did manage to get out of the apartment for a while and rather aimlessly make his way around New York, but within a few hours of having no goal, his mood turned mercurial. Either he was getting recognized too frequently or not enough, either the city was too loud or too dull, and Jamie was either giddy, melancholy, or irritated, and not much in between. He's spent the last few hours alone in the apartment showering, napping, playing on his phone, and staring at the ceiling. It's dull, but at least it beats another day in the studio.

When Aidan gets in, he sits up quickly and smiles broadly at the return of his friend.

Aidan's been looking forward to this moment all day, he realizes, and he isn't disappointed. Despite his fatigue he smiles brightly when he sees his friend. "Hey, how did today treat you?"

"I'm bored out of my skull," he answers frankly. "But honestly, after the year I've had, a day of boredom may have been the best thing for me. How was filming?"

"Good, lots of running around. I'm better with that than all the pondering Poldark does," Aidan replies, scooting in by Jamie's long legs. "I mean, some days that's all he does: ponder, ponder, mope, ponder. It's bloody exhausting."

Jamie laughs and nods in agreement. "I don't think I'd be much good at that, either. But does that mean you're feeling physically a bit tired?"

"A little bit. But have no fear, it's Friday and you can't make me go to bed," Aidan says with a laugh. "Dinner?"

With a nod, "Yeah dinner. And I was thinking a lot about our last get-together, so be prepared to answer some vital questions," he's intentionally making his level of seriousness ambiguous.

"Questions?" Aidan looks at him like he doesn't know the meaning of the word. "If you say so. Thai okay?"

"I've only had it once or twice, so sure. I have no idea what I like, so just... pick something good?" Jamie runs a hand through his hair and waits patiently until Aidan's ordered and available for a conversation.

"Never eaten Thai, how the fuck does that even happen?" Aidan mutters, hanging up the phone. He sits back and looks at Jamie. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, we talked about a lot of things that night... stuff we've tried or want to try... And you, I dunno, you said some things that really surprised me, things I... didn't really think were very _you_ , you know? So I wanna deal with that, understand what you meant." Jamie almost feels cruel in the way he's leading this on like it's some big thing.

Aidan squints and tries to recall just what he said on the night in question. "...I'm definitely going to need a drink for this," he decides after a beat, and returns from the fridge with two beers. "Go for it."

He nods seriously, as if he understands how this might be difficult for Aidan. Jamie waits for him to be settled and fully braced. "Well... that night, you um... you said that..." He looks at Aidan, brow furrowed. "You said that you're a good dancer, and I just, I can't wrap my head around that." And finally he can't entirely keep the straight face, the corners of his lips curve just the slightest.

"Wha...? You are a fucking brat," Aidan says, bursting into laughter. "What do you want, merengue, a waltz, moshing?" He knocks back a swallow of beer and snickers again. "I had to learn ballroom in school. Bloody nightmare."

"So, wait. That's like _real_ dancing." He seems genuinely impressed. "Do you hate it? Is it still fun?"

"Nah, I like it. It's fun. Just, now that I don't have to worry about a dance partner tripping me over and over again. Want to put some music on?" Aidan hands over the remote for the satellite radio.

"Ah," Jamie smiles sheepishly, "I'm really not much of a dancer, like at all. And especially not if you're irritated by a partner tripping over your feet."

"No, I'm saying she tripped _me_ ," Aidan says with a laugh. "And why don't I believe you? I mean, I've seen you strut it on the catwalk, you remember." And a spectacular evening it was, at that. "I was tempted to bust out cash to fill your panties with."

Jamie grins a little, flattered. "I just never learned the steps, really. I'm sure I'm plenty coordinated." He takes the remote and stands. "Sounds like you could teach me?"

"There's really nothing to teach," Aidan replies, but gets to his feet nonetheless, and puts his hands on Jamie's hips, giving them a nudge. "You just _move_."

Jamie is certainly graceful, and sometime in the last few years it seems he's gained the maturity it takes to actually pay attention to someone other than himself and work with a partner, because he's quite a bit less bad than he remembers.

It's easy to drop into the beat, feeling it pulse low in his gut. Aidan works with it for a while, but then circles behind Jamie, pulling him in tight against his body. Grinding slowly against his ass.

He's got enough composure – barely – to keep his startled enjoyment of Aidan pressed up against him like that quiet. Jamie pushes back, slips his hands onto Aidan's, and closes his eyes to lose himself in the experience a little more.

It's not as cushiony as what Aidan's used to, but god it's so fucking good. He moans under his breath, nuzzling Jamie's hair out of the way so he can draw his lips over his throat.

 _Oh fuck, oh fuck, is this happening?_ Jamie tilts his head to make more room for Aidan, eager to soak up anything he's given, and his heart is suddenly beating _so hard_. He quietly gasps Aidan's name and brings a hand over his shoulder to card fingers through his friend's hair.

Aidan licks out. The perfume he's expecting isn't there, but he pushes through, tasting Jamie's neck like he's got zero prior experience with the subject. Warm supple flesh beneath his tongue, eager friction against his cock, he shuts his eyes and lets the music resonate through his body... The combination goes a long way for him.

Jamie's breath and spine shudder as the other man teases one of the very most sensitive parts of his body. "Yes, _yes_ , Aidan, please," he begs for more, voice only a whisper. He hasn't a clue what's going on in Aidan's head, and doesn't want to ruin it, but he's also really not sure how much longer he can keep quiet.

The buzzing phone blats rudely, drowning out the thumping bass for a moment, and Aidan springs back from Jamie like he's been burned. _Food_. "Fuck," Aidan mutters, turning down the volume so he can pick up the phone. "Yeah, I ordered that," he tells Security, "please send him up." He looks back at Jamie, almost apologetic when he says, "That's how you dance."

He still looks, well, kind of high when Aidan gives his attention back to him – pupils big, chest a little flushed, dumbfounded smile. "I like dancing," that's seriously all he can muster at the moment.

On cue, the doorbell rings and Aidan pays the deliveryman, then distributes the food in what could be a repeat of last night. "We're going to need more napkins," he says, only slightly flustered – he hopes – as he rips a handful of paper towels in two. A second beer in his hand and he finally settles back on the couch. "What did you decide on?"

"Decide... on?" Jamie's managed to take a seat, and even to look at the food, but his thoughts are far away. He clears his throat and focuses himself. "Sorry, what?"

"A movie. From your list." Aidan raises an eyebrow and cracks open his beer. "You know, it was your homework for today, to decide what we should watch."

"Oh! Uh, right. Yes. It was a bitch to find but I got a hold of a digital copy. Brace yourself for 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'. It's the perfect intersection of god-awful and Christmas."

"Oh my god, you didn't. That sounds brilliant." And it sounds vaguely entertaining enough from moment to moment that Aidan might actually be able to ignore the throbbing iron spike in his jeans. "Start her up, and I'll take the liberty of pouring us a few fingers of whiskey."

Jamie retrieves his laptop and makes quick work of hooking it up to Aidan's TV, but every second he doesn't have to be focused on what he's doing, he's thinking about the way they were a few minutes ago. It takes a bit and when he gets back to the couch Aidan is already there so he sits fairly close.

The movie begins, absurd from the first scene. Aidan smiles a little and sips his whiskey, drawing on the liquid courage until he gets up the nerve to ask the burning question on his mind. "Hey, why – and tell me to fuck off if you need to – if you found someone you got along with and the sex was incredible, why aren't you two together now?" he asks, looking sidelong at Jamie. "I mean, aside from the large boyfriend-shaped barrier."

"Ohhh gods, uhm," Jamie rubs the back of his neck, trying to figure out which version of the story to tell – his or the likely less-biased one. "Well, uh... so, she... well, I mean..." A frustrated sigh, directed entirely at himself. 

"She wanted me to stop fucking other girls, and I didn't want to stop fucking other girls. I'm sure she'd tell you some shit about having feelings for me and thinking we could work as boyfriend and girlfriend or having a future together and whatever, but," he shakes his head, "it's bullshit. She's jealous and insecure and couldn't stand that I wanted anyone other than her. You can even see it with how she and her new boyfriend are, she gets visibly irritated if he even looks at another woman."

"Mmmm. Definitely not the right girl for you," Aidan replies, looking up at Jamie from the couch's perfect angle of slouch. He turns his gaze back to the TV.

He swallows, can't help the feeling that he's given the wrong impression of himself despite the fact that no, it's rather spot on. "Well, I mean... I could... want that, at some point. With someone. In fact I think I actively do. I just... we'd not really known each other that long, and you know, fresh out of that thing with Matilda, it was... the timing wasn't right, and I'd need to be a lot closer to someone before going exclusive like that."

Aidan's brow furrows. "I get that. I can understand that," he decides. He's trying be nonchalant, as if the conversation only has half his attention.

It's clearly unnerving him that Aidan is so short with his answers, although that's likely got a lot more to do with Jamie than Aidan. "And I guess... I also just... I don't want to _date_ anymore, you know? Like, if I can just sort of tell, yeah, no, I don't have the kind of connection it takes for this to be something long-lasting... I would rather just stay as we are than try to pretend it's more than that."

"So you're done sleeping around?" Aidan looks up at him again. "I mean, not done, just... doing it just for kicks. You want it to mean something."

"No, no! God no, I've fucked someone just for kicks every weekend since... not the point. I just mean, if I'm actually going to call someone my boyfriend, I have to actually feel like it really is more, or really has the potential to _be_ more than just sex with someone I really like. With Taylor, I cared about her, but I knew there wasn't more to it than that. We'd never be able to stand living with each other, I'd never particularly want her to meet my parents, et cetera. Before... any girl who'd asked for it and bedded me at least twice would be my girlfriend, and I always invested more in it than was good for me because of it. I don't want to do that again."

"Okay," Aidan says, a trifle bemused by the intensity of Jamie's answer. "But then, why now? What's different now?"

"Why's what different? Why do I not want to jump into relationships?"

"Why do you not want to call it what it isn't? That seems like almost a one-eighty for you," Aidan points out, and he's not even pretending to watch the movie anymore.

He chews on his fingers a moment, not actually sure. Finally he nods a little and answers. "Matilda was kind of the last straw, I guess. I realized how stupid it was, that cycle of pouring my heart into whatever walked my way. I'd been doing it since Bonnie left, and it just... I guess at some point, even I had to learn from my mistakes? It always seemed to happen in the same way, too. Abrupt and after I let someone in on a secret. I don't want to have secrets left the next time I decide to be in a relationship."

"Secrets, huh." Aidan sips at his drink, considering. "What would you consider your most important secrets? Like, the ones you can't ever compromise on."

"I'm a kinky fucker and you better be down with at least some of that." He grins. "That's the one I always waited the longest to pull out." Jamie hums thoughtfully. "I guess, I need them to know about some of my past too? Like, once I started getting the royalty cheques from Instruments... I realized I was getting paid to do nothing, so I... did nothing. I was drunk or high for a solid three weeks. Not something I wanna repeat, but they should know that when I stop being occupied, I do stupid shit."

"Oh, shit." Aidan breaks into a huge grin. "Should I be having you mop the floors while you're visiting? Or risk coming home to something stupid?"

Jamie snickers, "No, no, I'm not that bad. I just can't feel like I have nothing going on, or no reason to stay focused."

"Ah. So wait, what's your reason now?" Aidan asks, still a tiny bit unnerved at the thought of Jamie getting so stressed. "You're on vacation. You can relax for at least another day or so, right?"

"Yeah," he laughs. "I'm not a total addict. Well... Okay, a little bit, but my hedonism is more varied now." He grins. "I have purpose, even though I have a bit of a break now. My life's not empty, either, and it really was then. I just... I only self-destruct like that when I'm really lacking purpose overall, and when I'm lacking purpose I completely self-destruct."

Aidan snickers softly, studying him. "I now want a bumper sticker that in some way deals with varied hedonism. Not that I have a car," he says. "And I get it, I think. When I don't have work, I drink _way_ too much, I know it. Same goes if I don't have a girlfriend. But I think I'm getting better with that last bit."

"When uh... is..." He pauses, clearly trying to figure out how to phrase this. "Have you had a girlfriend in the last few months?"

"Nah, not in a long time." Aidan raises his beer bottle in mock salute. "I kind of gave up for a while. Still trying to work my head around the idea again."

Jamie nods slowly and takes a long drink from his beer. He turns his attention to the TV, letting something roll around in his mind for a while in silence.

The lack of discussion is a bit discomfiting; it starts to get to Aidan. He's used to Jamie filling the void, dammit, not the burden being on himself. "So, are you ready? Do you think you're recovered enough to try emotional monogamy, like, ever again?" 

He nods. "Yeah, I think so. For the right person. I think the key for me is being careful, picking the right person. Liking someone for a while rather than jumping in the minute I get a crush, and thinking about if it actually means anything, like if they're actually someone I think I could be serious with someday."

Aidan nods, sucking on his bottom lip while he considers. "What we were talking about before: emotional fulfillment, physical fulfillment. You mentioned..." He trails off and takes a deep breath, gathers his courage and asks, "Do you think you could get that from me?"

Jamie glances at Aidan without turning his head, and swallows thickly. The truth is apparent but... is this really something he should admit to? Won't it just ruin everything?

"Yeah," his voice is quiet, and he's still watching Aidan out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, I've liked you–" No, that's not what he means. He starts again. "You have this effect on me. Like even though sometimes it hurts to remember you won't return how I feel, I always feel good with you. More whole, less alone. It's fulfilling to be with you even just like this."

Well, fuck – that just tears it. Aidan frowns and points the remote, muting the movie. Folding one leg under himself and turning to face Jamie. "See I... I have this... this thing. Something I've been puzzling over. That night with you at Citadel a few months ago..." He shakes his head and tries again. "I'm not homosexual, we know that. But the thing is, I don't even know that I'm bi. I feel like I'm just, just Jamie-sexual." 

That idea has been a kink for a really long time, but hearing it for real? The effect is entirely different, lacks all the fetishization he’s ever put into it. Maybe it’s because the context is entirely different. It takes Jamie a minute to face Aidan, he has to steel himself against how fucking vulnerable he feels right now. Finally, though, he mirrors Aidan's positioning, and chews on his fingers. "I've... been hoping for that for a long time. That's how my entire sexuality works, I've hoped for a long time maybe you had a shred of that in you too, and if you did... maybe it would happen in my direction." He can't bring himself to ask what it means, though – what Aidan wants to do about it.

Just like that, something meticulously buried inside Aidan's psyche wakes up and starts singing. He holds out his hand. "Then come here."

He doesn't have the capacity to wonder what is even going on, how this is happening. He just obeys, coming to Aidan as he's beckoned to, a hopeful but tentative expression on his face.

Aidan plunges his fingers into Jamie's tangled hair and kisses him hungrily, need surging inside him. He's just stepped off the tightrope and doesn't even know for certain what he'll find below, a safety net or an endless void. But Jamie's lips feel so right against his.

Jamie clutches Aidan's shirt tightly and gives a soft, wanting noise as they kiss. He doesn't let their lips part as he crawls entirely over his lap, straddling him a bit awkwardly. He just needs the closeness, needs to completely wrap himself around Aidan.

It's different, not trying to maintain some kind of pretense. Aidan isn't drunk. He's not on a rampage looking for _anyone_ to kiss. He's right here, grounded fully in the moment and learning Jamie's mouth because he is exactly who he is.

It's several minutes before Jamie pulls back, breathless and flushed and smiling. Even with as pleased as he is, he can't help but potentially sabotage himself, and the question just slips out. "What are we doing?"

Aidan sits back too, just enough that he can really focus on Jamie's face. And he's just as disheveled. "You want to talk now?"

He laughs gently and grins. "No. No, I really don't." With that he pushes back in to kiss Aidan, this time raking nails down his chest and then sliding his hands beneath his shirt just to feel his skin.

With a groan Aidan shifts to stretch out on the long sofa as best he can, pulling Jamie down on top of him. But not before he skins out of both jacket and shirt.

When Aidan gets undressed, so does Jamie, although with a small pause to worry about whether or not his lack of breasts will be a problem. But fuck it, he tosses his shirt in the general direction of his suitcase and climbs over Aidan eagerly.

It's a weird sensation. Really fucking weird, and Aidan's brain starts to wander off on a pointless path before he yanks himself back into the moment. He's been with women whose tits were so small they didn't even need bras. This shouldn't feel too different, right? And anyway, Jamie's back is perfect, smooth and hot and sexy.

Jamie can't stop his hands from wandering, feeling every inch of Aidan's torso like he's craved learning it. He'd had Aidan's cock in his mouth before he'd felt him up, an unusual situation even for him, but now that he's got the opportunity, he's absolutely going to make up for lost time – lost intimacy. He tries to control the way his hips press down, the way they rock just the slightest, but it doesn't entirely work and it the stiffness from his restraint isn't hard to notice.

"What's wrong?" Aidan asks, his tone absent. He can't think right now; he's too busy nipping at the base of Jamie's throat.

"I just want you. Don't stop, please," it comes with a small whine, genuine begging. He curses small, breathy praise, more emphatic the closer Aidan gets to his favorite spot on his neck, and he gently rakes his nails down Aidan's side.

Aidan hisses softly and closes his hands around Jamie's neck, holding him in place to hungrily lick and suck, tasting vulnerable flesh on his lips.

 _Fuck_ , it's too good, Jamie's getting so lost. His hips buck forward and he pushes shamelessly against Aidan now. He's very expressive when he feels like he's allowed to be, and sweet, needy noises escape his lips under the attention.

Aidan's instincts urge him to bite, to grind his teeth and make a livid bruise for the world to see, but some small voice in his mind overrules. What they are to each other, the lifestyle they've chosen independently of one another – it wouldn't be right. Wouldn't be right to demand ownership, not as they are. But when he pushes Jamie to his back, reaches between his thighs with an aim of getting under his skirts and pushing his fingers inside– "Shit," Aidan gasps. "Fuck." Shock blindsides him, though he knows it should be no shock at all.

Jamie is grinning and begging for it when Aidan pushes him down and trails a hand up between his legs, even pushing his hips up in anticipation. When Aidan seems less than pleased with what he finds, Jamie freezes and sobers up. He knew at some point exactly this would happen. "Hey, look, you don't need to... I don't need you to..." He's not even sure how to form a complete sentence here while avoiding any synonym of 'cock'.

"No, I'm sorry. Of course, you... you don't..." The inane thought disappears entirely in vapor. Aidan retreats to slump against the sofa. He echoes, "...Sorry."

He'd probably be upset if he were surprised, hurt if he hadn't gotten over it long ago, but every single time he's played this out in his head, it's gone exactly like this, even when he tried to not let it. One of the many reasons Connor became so necessary. Jamie lets out a slow exhale as he pushes himself up to sitting. "No, it's okay. I'm not..." He smiles softly. "It's just good to know that if it wasn't for um..." he shifts a little, trying to fix his jeans. "It feels good that you want me so much that you wanted to try."

"I do," Aidan says immediately. "I do want you that much. Just... I don't know," he tugs a hand back through his hair. "Maybe I just need us to take it a bit– bit slower, yeah?" Lots of couples do that. Right.

"Aidan, if we're doing this for years and you never wanna touch my cock again, that's fine." He sounds dead-serious, and maybe like he's put thought into it. "I get if you're... I don't know, disappointed by what I don't have. But if the reservation comes from what I _do have_ , you don't even have to acknowledge it." With a small smile, he adds, "I've seen myself from behind and I'm... well, pretty sexy, so you really don't ever have to deal with it."

A beat. "You're serious." Aidan stares at him, a touch incredulous. He starts chuckling. "Oh, my god. You're serious?"

Jamie looks away, not sure if he's embarrassed or indignant, and crosses his arms over his chest. With a little huff, he looks back. "Is there a reason I shouldn't be?"

"I don't know. Isn't that some kind of objectification?" Aidan asks. "Like, if I'm using your ass because I'm in denial about your cock?"

He just shrugs. "I guess I don't care if it is, but I don't think so. I turn you on, I make you feel good, you want _me_ , and vice versa. My bits really have nothing to do with any of that."

Now Aidan just studies him for a long moment. "Yeah," he breathes, "you're right about that." Stretching back out on the sofa, he holds out his hand to Jamie once more.

This could go exactly like it just had a hundred more times and Jamie would still come crawling back for more. There's a complete lack of hesitation as he comes back over, although this time the way he pushes in to kiss Aidan is a bit slower, more sensual than needy.

Aidan moans softly in approval. He digs beneath his hip to find the remote, then breaks the kiss long enough to kill the TV and start the music again instead. Low bass throbs from the speakers, and he smirks a little before pulling Jamie back to him.

The music has a strong impact on Jamie, his whole manner – speed, intensity, movements – dictated by the beat and cadence. He grabs and pulls some at Aidan's sides and hips and hair, trails kisses and blunt bites over his neck and chest, glides fingertips over as much of his skin as he can. None of it is about escalation anymore, he's not a horny teenager trying to get through foreplay as fast as possible. This is all there is and all he wants.

The press of Aidan's prick is growing desperate, though, and he cups Jamie's ass, rocking against him. Needy and heading for the edge.

He pulls himself up just enough to whisper into Aidan's ear, hands still roaming, scratching. "Yes, yes, fuck, Aidan, please," it might be acting, but he sure as hell sounds desperate. "Please, use me, use me to feel good. I'm yours, all fucking yours, do whatever you want with me, just please, please let me make you feel good. It's all I think about, Aidan, I need it. I fucking need it, please!"

"Fuck, Jamie. You sound like a wet dream," Aidan gasps. He captures one wandering hand and guides it to his zipper.

"I do my best," he says with an audible smirk. Jamie makes quick work of getting his friend's pants open and his cock exposed. He wraps his hand around it and gives a soft moan, "Christ, you're perfect. It's no wonder I wanna worship every inch of you." Jamie starts to move his hand, long, tight strokes for now. "Just tell me what you need, Aidan – anything you need, and I'll do it. Nothing's better than making you happy."

"Okay, now you fucking sound like you're buttering me up," Aidan says, unsure whether he's hurt or amused. Whichever, he shoves all that aside right now in favor of dragging Jamie in for another long hot kiss.

He wishes it were only that, but he accepts the skepticism – it's something that needs to be shown, not told. Jamie rocks his hips in time with the way he's stroking Aidan now, creating an illusion of them actually fucking but so, so careful not to do anything that would bring Aidan too close to reality again. He does his best to keep up with the kiss between soft noises and lust-filled panting. 

Aidan manages a strangled groan, deep in his throat. He sucks hard on Jamie's bottom lip, shutting his eyes and losing himself in pure sensation.

Jamie pulls back just enough to ask, softly, "I wanna swallow you down with nothing in the way. Please?"

"Nngh god yes," Aidan grates out, already tugging on Jamie's hair.

Jamie trails biting kisses down Aidan's chest and rids him of his pants and underwear quickly because he wants as much skin as he can possibly get. When he finally gets Aidan in his mouth, he gives a very satisfied groan and begins to work him over with all the skill of last time.

"Holy shit, that's good." All right, they may not be the most romantic words, but Aidan would rather say something than nothing at all; he wants Jamie to know exactly how appreciative he is. And, _damn_. He pets his mate's hair and relaxes back, pumping his hips only slightly.

They aren't in public this time, and that leaves Jamie sober enough to take his time and focus on making him feel good rather than on being impressive. The way he rolls his piercing over Aidan's ridge and feels him press against his throat, it's enough to make his own hips eager. He slips his free hand between his own legs and rocks against it while he takes his time blowing Aidan.

Aidan lifts his head to watch. Jamie is intoxicating, his whole manner seeming effortlessly seductive. "You're good, so good," he whispers, beginning to pull on Jamie's hair as need surges hot once more.

Praise elicits soft, happy noises of appreciation, and hair pulling even more so. He plunges down on Aidan over and over, rising all the way up and sinking as far as he can, although at this angle he's not much of a deep-throater, and any control Aidan tries to utilize is given to him fully.

Once it becomes clear that Jamie genuinely meant his words – _use me_ – Aidan tightens his grip. He lifts his hips, thrusting upwards, holding Jamie in place to take a hammering, Pumping into him until he reaches the point of desperation. "Jamie...!"

He gives a prurient groan when Aidan takes control, and commits every moment to memory. The more excited Aidan gets, so does Jamie, and as soon as it's apparent he's on the edge, Jamie sinks down and closes his lips tightly, making sure he gets to swallow down every drop. 

Slowly Aidan comes back to earth, light streaking into the darkness that bloomed before his eyes. He's absently petting Jamie's hair, silky soft strands, and he groans in contentment. 

Jamie pulls off with a grin, that same hungry-but-satisfied look on his face as months before. He leans into Aidan's touch, soaking up the affection. "I don't think I could ever get tired of doing that to you."

"Mmm. Without the rubber? You beauty." Aidan grins down at him. "What about you, now?"

"Especially without the rubber. I hate those things." He sits up enough to really enjoy the full view of Aidan's body. "What do you mean, what about me? I feel fantastic." 

"You surely look fantastic," Aidan says with a snicker, and reaches out to rub his thumb over Jamie's top lip. "Fucking gorgeous."

Jamie's mouth opens just a little as Aidan thumbs his lip, and he smiles almost bashfully. "Mmmn, you're just saying that because I can still taste you. Any guy would say the same in your position," he teases.

"Can't deny the extra appeal," Aidan admits with a shrug, though he knows it to be much more than that. "Come here. I want to taste myself on you."

He moves down slowly to support himself on one arm, carding the other hand through Aidan's hair. Jamie kisses him softly, lapping over his lip and tongue. He tries to be careful about the way he's pushing against Aidan, but with as hard as he is, there's only so much that can be done.

Aidan slides his palms over Jamie's hips to cup his ass, molding the curves to his hands, and he shifts to put his leg between Jamie's thighs. "If you want to," he says, his heart racing a bit faster than it should be, "you can." 

Lust-sober Jamie wouldn't have given it any thought, just wouldn't have gone for it, but at the moment his head is swimming with want and half-achieved fantasies and he doesn't even really notice when his hips start pushing him to rut up against Aidan's leg. It's just good, really fucking good, and self-control has never been his strong suit.

It's weird, god it's so fucking strange, but it's not like Aidan has never felt another man's erection pressed against him. He watches Jamie's face – stares, really – and _that_ , that is what he focuses on. Because he is beautiful, flattery or no, and when he gives himself over to desire he's truly gorgeous.

It's different from last time, too. No look of concentration or effort, no sadism, no _show_. Jamie is just genuine and helpless with need, speaking soft pleas of Aidan's name. His voice becomes just subtly higher the closer he gets, until finally he's begging, "Oh fuck, oh fuck, Aidan, I'm... I'm gonna... please, please can I? Please let me."

The question comes as a surprise, but fuck it's hot. "Yes," Aidan whispers, excitement thrilling through him anew, "like this. Come."

"Thank you, thank you, thank y–" his whole body goes rigid, throat tightening too much to let him speak until after the first wave of pleasure pulses through him, at which point he softly cries out Aidan's name. His hips rock just the slightest through the rest of his orgasm, and he's left panting, limbs shaking, expression disheveled and grateful and maybe, slowly, embarrassed.

"God," Aidan mutters, his attention torn between the sight of Jamie and the unfamiliar dampness seeping through denim and onto his thigh. "Hey. Look at me." 

Jamie readjusts himself a bit, getting off of Aidan's leg – the embarrassment is definitely setting in now – and finally looks up at Aidan like he'd been told. He swallows thickly and feels like he should apologize, but he makes himself wait a moment.

Aidan blinks, a touch confused. He was expecting something different... "What's wrong?" The words slip past his lips before he can think about them, but he realizes they're exactly the ones which make sense right now. "Somehow I thought you'd look happier, just after coming."

That actually seems to come as a relief. He smiles and laughs softly, shoulders dropping. "I am. I am happy, I swear, I just..." Another laugh, he shakes his head and sits up enough to rub his face. The tension is coming off easily. "Going off against your leg like a mutt just wasn't the kind of kink I'd've figured you to appreciate," he teases, but the root is true.

"Nah, it's you I appreciate," Aidan demurs, his own smile creeping back into view. "But the fact that I turn you on _that_ much? Christ, Jamie. That's incredibly fucking hot."

 _Oh, you have no idea..._ Jamie smiles broadly now and rubs the back of his neck. "You make it hard to think sometimes – drive me absolutely mad in the best way possible." He stands up and goes to his suitcase, continuing to talk as he casually changes into something less... messy. As he sheds his underwear, a slight bit of silver can be seen on the head of his cock, if Aidan is paying attention. "If you really meant that uhm... that you sort of... feel that way about me too, I'll stop trying to cover it up."

"That I'm driving you mad?" Aidan asks, his glance automatically going to – and away from – Jamie's prick. But then it arrows right back, and his eyes widen. "Wait, y– you got it pierced? I can't believe you didn't fucking tell me!"

"That I'm totally fucking enamored." He's smirking now, ignoring the question until he's got a new pair of boxers on and comes back to the couch.

"'Enamored,' really?" Aidan echoes, grinning, and there's not a trace of mockery in his eyes. "That's the nicest thing anybody who's just sucked me off has ever said." He holds out his hand for Jamie's. 

Jamie quirks an eyebrow in disbelief, and gives Aidan his hand – the skin contact is so, so wanted. "If that's true then you seriously need better people to suck you off."

"Not anymore," Aidan quips and tugs Jamie down to the couch with him. "You're not getting out of showing me that thing. And telling me _exactly_ how much the piercing hurt."

He settles in nice and close, almost _on_ Aidan as much as he's allowed. "Okay, okay, but careful with it if you touch it. And yes, that is permission to touch it." Jamie pulls himself out but keeps his eyes on Aidan. Soft like this, the barbell is too long, but the piercing is well-healed. "I can't remember clearly, to be honest with you. It came at the end of a very precisely negotiated and executed scene and as planned, I wasn't all there when it was time. Even then, though, it was worse than anything I've ever felt."

"Damn." Aidan can't resist staring at it, although he's not quite ready to learn the feel for himself. "Wait," he says, and sits up straighter to lay his hand on one of Jamie's tattoos. "Did you get all of these for other people, or were some only for you?"

"Two of them were for girlfriends, one of which is covered up now." He grazes the large, black heart on his chest, indicating the cover-up. "And one of them was for my grandfather. The rest are all me."

"Aaaand... that?" Aidan nods towards the piercing. "That sounds like a very heavy ceremony." 

"Oh! Another one of them was supposed to be with someone else, which is kind of like for someone else. But he chickened out at the last minute, so fuck him." He sounds more amused than upset.

Aidan stares into his eyes now, and prompts again. "The piercing."

Jamie looks like he doesn't even understand the question. "People get piercings for other people?"

"Yeah. They're, like, wedding rings that you never recover from," Aidan says, "no different from tattoos I'd think. You see a lot of piercings at Citadel that are marks of ownership, like, the people might never dream of getting pierced on their own, but they might do it to show everyone they belong to someone. Kind of badass." His eyes widen. "I saw some guy get branded last year."

" _God_ , I wanna get branded so bad. Been saving that for The One, actually. But no, all of those have been for me. I mean, for me for other people?" He laughs. "The tongue and cock piercings are things I wanted because they're fun to use with other people, but they weren't for anyone in specific."

"Are you serious, you've actually thought of being branded?" Aidan asks with a laugh, sitting back again. Comfortable with his nudity around his mate, although he's never thought of it that way before. A shiver of pleasure races through him as he pictures it, shiny white scars embedded in pale skin. "Damn, that'd be amazing."

"You think someone with as many body modifications as I've got hasn't thought of being branded?" Jamie leans in and takes a deep, contented breath. "I've thought about it a lot. I guess I sort of assume I'll end up with someone dominant, because I imagine them being the one to do it."

"Would you be happy with that, someone all dominant all the time?" Aidan asks, resting his head back against the cushion and studying Jamie. "You wouldn't want a switch?"

"Oh, I could definitely be happy with someone who's always dominant, or always submissive, or a switch. As long as we were in love and fit well together."

It sounds lovely. But Aidan's got too many doubts on that score to just accept it. "And because you were poly? Whatever needs weren't getting met, you could find them outside your primary relationship?"

"I'm poly?" Jamie raises an eyebrow. "I like what I've got at the moment, being able to explore whatever, whenever. It's one of the reasons I've been so adamant about not being in a relationship for a while. But I'm not sure I'd call myself poly."

"Sorry, that's just me making assumptions," Aidan murmurs, a slight flush coloring his cheeks. "I didn't mean to..." He swallows and offers in explanation, "That's one of the things that broke up Emma and me: she said it was something different, but I know I wasn't dominant enough for her, enough of the time. She wanted more of a…" He blanches a bit, thinking of Emma's new sir. "But I'm just me, you know? I'm not _him_." Catching himself, Aidan grins. "Not to discuss my previous lover with my present lover, of course."

He pauses for a second to let that phrase play in his mind over and over, it begs the question he's wanted to ask for several minutes. Jamie ventures to ask it with all the caution of a man taking the first turn in Russian Roulette. 

"Am I your boyfriend?"

Aidan blanches in surprise. "I don't know," he says after a moment, although he's already warming to the idea. "Do you want to be? I mean, if you're wondering about this, I guess I should warn you: the other reason we broke up is I wanted too much sex from her."

"... I've been at Citadel every weekend for three months." He somehow feels the sudden confession is relevant. "If I hadn't been working, it might've been more." As if he still needs to sell the idea.

"Okay. Maybe you love sex as much as I do," Aidan laughs. Jamie is just fucking adorable, and he makes things seem _possible_. "But that's not what I'm asking. Do you really think I can give you what you need?"

He thinks about that a few moments, trying to actually consider rather than give his first reaction. "I guess... physically, it would be difficult because we both have to travel a lot, especially now. And I am pretty attached to this whole sexual renaissance phase I'm going through."

"Understandably so." Aidan nibbles on his bottom lip, trying to clear out the hormone haze from his brain so he can think more than five minutes into the future. "Whenever we're together like this, visiting... Do you want to be my boyfriend?"

"How would you feel about me being your boyfriend all the time, but us taking physical liberties when we can't be together?"

"Really? You'd like that?" Aidan's heart kicks hard, reminding him just how _long_ it's been since anyone wanted that from him. "Yeah. Yes." 

Jamie beams at that before remembering that being someone's boyfriend means being able to fuck it up again. "You're... really sure you know me and like me enough that you're gonna want this for a long time?"

Aidan blinks. As usual, the thought of someone else having the same kind of worries as him just didn't occur to him. "I'm sure I know you and like you enough that I want to hang out whenever we can. And if we're going to keep fucking around – which I'm guessing we are – then... Yeah. It makes sense to me." He hesitates, then confesses, "I'm usually a lot more romantic than this. Expect lots of gifts."

He smiles a little crookedly, almost blushing. "Expect an obscene amount of video and voice messages any time we're apart more than two days. Aaaand probably the occasional amateur porno of me alone in my hotel room."

"Ooh, promise?" Aidan'll have to get used to seeing Jamie's cock, he realizes. Like it's a normal feature of his life. Well, baby steps. "Are we doing rules here, I mean is that seriously what we're talking about? It sounds like it. But that's not something we've really discussed, at all. I want to give you rules," he clarifies. "What do you expect from me, when we're apart?"

Jamie shrugs sheepishly. "I... guess I don't really have any expectations yet? I like the sound of you giving me rules, though."

"Famous last words," Aidan mutters, and gives him a wink. "I just mean... We established we'll both be sleeping with other people as the opportunity presents itself. Who can't it be?"

He shrugs again, more nonchalantly this time. "It can't be any of our exes, I'm pretty inflexible about that. I absolutely hate the idea of you and Lily hooking up, for example. But past that, I don't much care."

"Each other's exes? Shit, that didn't even occur to me. Yeah, agreed." Aidan rubs the back of his hand over his mouth, but he can't wipe away his smile. "You know, I'd say that since I'm your boyfriend then I need to take you shopping. But I guess we already covered that didn't we?" Ahh, yes – and a memorable visit to the Citadel boutique it was, too.

"Well, you could take me shopping again before I leave town," his voice is taking on that very familiar, low, suggestive tone. "I'd really like it if you picked out a toy, something I can use when I wanna stuff myself and gasp the name of my boyfriend over and over."

Aidan stares. It's rare that he is truly gobsmacked, but now is one of those moments. "Okay," he whispers finally, breathlessly. "Let's do that tomorrow. You can show me how much you like to take."

Jamie smirks, quite content with that reaction and answer. "Now, about what you were saying about rules – were there people you wanted to put off limits?"

"I... not right now, I don't think. Except for what you said about exes," Aidan replies quietly. "But I reserve the right to change my mind, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course. And I meant our own exes as well, not that I think that's a terribly likely scenario." He casually caresses the hand draped over one of his tattoos. "You mentioned..." Jamie pauses, putting effort into being tactful. "We should talk about kinks of yours other than lingerie."

"There are kinks other than lingerie? ...Um." Aidan clears his throat and can't help but grin. "I love clit torture."

Jamie clears his throat and tucks himself back into his boxers upon realizing the way his body reacts to hearing and imagining that. "What about other kinds of pain?"

"Oh, yeah. Giving," Aidan clarifies, "I'm not that into taking. Just incidental, whatever happens naturally over the course of it all. Biting, spankings. Lingerie and shoes and maybe some vinyl in there, too." He eyes Jamie appraisingly. "How masochistic are you?"

"From nothing? Somewhat. But once I really get going... _extremely_. For example – once or twice, when I've gotten really close just from getting fucked, a pair of metal, teethed clips biting into my nipples got me the rest of the way."

"Ohh, yeah," Aidan breathes, and his heart beats faster at the evocative words. "That's good. And... how submissive? I mean, I have a general idea, but. I'm not great at separating sadism from dominance," he says, trying to explain it in a coherent way. "So if you want the one from me..."

"I made the piercing part of a scene because I knew I'd chicken out unless I had a dominant I trusted making me do it. I'm submissive enough that if the right person pushes me to _pierce my dick_ , I'll do it."

Aidan considers, nearly laughing at himself. "Fair point. Anything else you want me to be aware of? Or, more questions?" 

"Well... how much of those things are you? What kind of pain and domination can I look forward to?"

Shrugging a little, Aidan answers, "I'll beat you, if you want. And," his gaze skates over Jamie's chest, "I like tit torture as well. I might– okay, I probably will tell you to wank for me." Female, male, in-between... That's just a solid kink.

Jamie grins a little to himself and settles into his arms even more. "All of that sounds like a lot of fun. What about um... hm. Degrading or humiliating me? Like... I dunno, if I wanted to send you a video of me fucking myself with your surrogate cock, would it be an extra turn on if I connected my tongue and dick piercings with a chain and had to drool on myself for as long as it took for me to come?"

 _Christ_. "I haven't done much with humiliation. Is that something that works for you?"

He has to shift a little, keep everything comfortable as this conversation gets him worked up all over again. "The right kind, definitely. Verbal more than anything else. I'm not so much a fan of physical or public humiliation, except maybe for how it overlaps with being degraded. I have a really big kink for being objectified."

"I've kind of noticed that, I think," Aidan says, his lips curving. His own cock is stiffer than he'd like right now, purely due to the fact that Jamie is interested in knowing what he wants, what he likes. "You know me, I'm happy to dress you up and show you off." He picks up his all but forgotten glass and sips at his whiskey. "How do you feel about roleplaying?"

Jamie wasn't even thinking about being dressed up and shown off, but now that he is he grins to himself, warm with the feeling of being wanted. "I haven't done a lot of it, but I've always been curious. Are there ideas you like?"

"I like... most things, I think," Aidan confesses with a laugh, and licks a drop of liquor from the rim. "Pretty straightforward. Anything when there's sexual tension and a power imbalance." Abruptly he wonders if that would _help_ : if approaching Jamie's gender through a put-on performance of a reluctant man touching another man sexually for the first time... 

His cheeks slowly light up as Jamie remembers just how much, and what kind, of experience he has with roleplaying, and he's awkwardly silent for a moment as he tries to get over it.

"What...? What's wrong?" Aidan asks, a little nervous at that reaction. "What did I say now? Is roleplay bad?"

"I um... I guess I've... actually been doing it so much I forgot I was doing it." Jamie runs a hand through his hair, trying to cover his own embarrassment. "I've kind of got a whole... plot line... going with one of the house employees?' _Oh god, I cannot tell him what I've been doing. Deflect. Deflect._ "So, yeah, no, roleplaying is great, I'd love to do that with you."

"All right." Aidan watches him closely for a moment longer, though, as if he's worried Jamie might just take it back. "A whole plot line, huh? That never even occurred to me, I admit. It sounds fun." He tosses back the last of his drink, then cups Jamie's face in his hands for a kiss. "Come to bed with me." 

Jamie smiles softly into the kiss and then nods, looking at Aidan like he's just given him the most thoughtful gift. "Okay, but only if we get to keep talking," not that he wouldn't come otherwise...

Aidan grins and sucks gently on Jamie's top lip for a second. "Yeah, of course," he says, getting to his feet and drawing Jamie up by his hands.

He doesn't really take his hands off of Aidan the whole way to the bed, rather insistently touching him the entire time. As soon as he can, he cuddles up and wraps himself around his _boyfriend_. Everything feels so surreal right now, like a dream he could wake up from, and he's not about to let a second go wasted.


End file.
